Inner Truth
by silver-etoile
Summary: One shot. There are some things John doesn't like to admit when it comes to Bobby... PyroIceman slash.


**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Marvel comics and affiliates. I own nothing.

A/N: Set in second movie after the plane crash.

* * *

He called my name first. 

_He was looking for her._

But he called my name first.

_But he was looking for her._

But he saw me, he found me.

_What does that matter? You know that's not what he wants._

How do you know what he wants? What about what I want? Don't I deserve something? I live with him for fuck's sake! I clean up after him, make sure he gets up on time, save him from doing something stupid with her.

_He can make his own decisions. He doesn't need you to take care of him._

Maybe I want to take care of him. Did that ever occur to you?

_You're too selfish to care for someone else like that._

Shut up.

_It's true. No one ever cared for you so why do you fool yourself by thinking you could do the same for him?_

Shut up! You're wrong. He's different.

_Yeah, too bad he doesn't like you like that._

He could. I could… He lives with me, goes to school with me, known me longer. Why like her anyway? She's whiny and afraid of her powers. He deserves someone better, someone stronger.

_Someone like you? Don't kid yourself. He doesn't see you that way and probably never will._

It's all her fault. Ever since she came, he's been different. He spends all his time with her. He can't even touch her! I don't get it.

_Maybe he sees something else._

Like what? She's not even that pretty.

_Says the guy who fucks anything that moves._

I do not.

_Do too._

Shut up. That's not the point.

_And what was your point, oh brilliant one?_

He could do so much better. He's so fucking gorgeous and smart, and he deserves someone who appreciates that.

_Who says she doesn't appreciate it? Look at her, sitting there with Nightcrawler. Does she look like she doesn't appreciate people's differences? She's talking to a guy with blue skin and runes carved into his skin._

She's a good actress.

_That's the best you can do?_

What do you want me to say? Yeah, she's perfect for the guy I'm fucking in love with. That's exactly what I meant. I want them to be together forever and fucking fall in love and get married.

_No need to get angry._

…

_So now you're going to stay quiet? I just meant that maybe you should do something instead of sulking all the time._

I don't sulk.

_A word! It's amazing. And, yes, you do. Why haven't you hung out with Bobby at all this year?_

I did. At the museum…

_And that worked out so well. Why haven't you talked to him?_

And what am I supposed to say, exactly? Oh, hey, Bobby, can I fuck you or at least kiss you 'cause I have this huge crush on you and when I see you in the shower, all I can think about is pushing you against the wall and having my way with you. Yes, he'd love that. I bet that would make him do just what I wanted.

_Well, maybe he'd take it into consideration._

Don't make me laugh. He'd get freaked out and stay as far away from me as possible. He already does and I haven't even mentioned that I like guys.

_You really think he doesn't know? Please, you're always off with Peter or someone else. What do you think he thinks you're doing? You're definitely not studying if that's what you're thinking… He's not as naïve as you think._

Didn't say he was. But do you _really_ think he'd be okay knowing his roommate likes naked men? Somehow I think he might be a little uncomfortable.

_Must you be sarcastic all the time?_

Yes, yes I must.

_Maybe you should give him a little more credit._

Do you know something I don't?

_I'm your inner voice. I know everything you do and all the things you're too afraid to admit to yourself._

So you know you're the most annoying thing I've ever heard?

_… Yes. But that is not the point. Why don't you just try telling him? What's the worst that could happen?_

Let's think. He could push me away, tell me I'm crazy, never speak to me again… the list goes on.

Or_ he might be accepting. Don't you think he's more open than most people? I mean, you _are_ mutants, after all. I'm sure he's a little more accepting that other people._

It's different.

_How?_

I can control my power.

_And you can't control your hormones?_

Apparently not! Why did I have to like him? There are so many other hot guys just waiting for me. Why did I have to pick the one straight guy who happens to have an untouchable girlfriend?!

_Your self-destructive nature._

Thank you.

_No, really, you always do this; want things you know you can't have so in the end you're left with nothing and you blame the world. You don't accept that it's your fault and that you purposefully do this so you have something to hate. Just watch. It won't work out and you'll blame the world._

I don't always do that.

_Yes, you do._

I do not! Now, drop it!

_Fine, fine, but you know I'm right._

You are not. How can you be so sure it isn't the world that's done this to me?

_You want me to go over the part about me being the all-knowing inner voice again?_

You know what, you're fucking annoying, that's what you are! And I don't need advice from some whiny inner—

"John?"

John's head snapped up from where it had been resting on his knees as he stared at the fire in front of him. Bobby was sitting next to him, prodding the fire with a log. John wrenched his eyes away from it and looked at Bobby.

"Huh?" he asked, very ineloquently.

"Were you listening? You were kind of spacing out for a minute there."

"Yeah, yeah," John replied, sounding like he was confused. "I was just thinking."

Bobby made a gesture of understanding and poked the fire again, sending little sparks into the night sky. John sighed and looked over to where Rogue was sitting with Nightcrawler. They were talking in whispers and John's mind began to wander as he watched them.

_You shouldn't be staring. Bobby's going to think you like her._

Are you ever quiet?

_Not when there are things on your mind. You know she would never cheat on him. He's the first guy who ever cared about her. You've got no luck with that route._

What route? I wasn't thinking anything.

_Yeah, you weren't… Just that if she cheated, Bobby would dump her and come crying to you._

You said it, not me.

_It's never going to happen. You'd be much better off going after him yourself._

'Cause that would work _so_ well.

_You won't know unless you try._

Will you just shut up! You do me absolutely no good! And your advice sucks too—

"John, are you listening?"

John blinked and realized Bobby was waving a hand in front of his face. His expression was concerned as he lowered his hand, finally getting John's attention.

"No, I—sorry," John said awkwardly, pulling out his lighter and flicking it open restlessly. "What were you saying?"

"I was just wondering… well, what you thought about Ronny. I mean, he called the cops. What should I do?"

John paused with the lighter open and the flame dancing slightly. "You should forget that prick. He doesn't care about you. He called the fucking cops on his own brother."

"But he didn't mean it."

"You're too forgiving, Iceman," John said, flipping the lighter shut with a definitive click. He shifted on the log, moving out of the light of the fire. Bobby moved back with him. "What would you do if I set you on fire?"

"Probably think you're being stupid."

"What if I meant it?"

"What do you mean?" Bobby sounded unsure.

"What if I decided you weren't worth my time and decided to do something to push you so far away you'd never come back?"

"You wouldn't do that…" Bobby didn't sound completely sure.

"What if it was for your own good?"

"John, what are you talking about?"

John sighed and pocketed his lighter. He moved closer to Bobby, keeping careful to keep out of the light of the fire. He saw out of the corner of his eye that Rogue and Nightcrawler had gone off to spy on the adults.

"Bobby, you deserve a good life."

"John, you're kind of freaking me out…"

John didn't respond. Instead, he slid forward, coming within an inch of Bobby's face. He could feel Bobby's cold breath on his lips and stopped. His eyes were flickering over Bobby's face, finally locking on his ice blue eyes.

"John…"

There was a moment of silence and suddenly, John's lips were pressed against Bobby's firmly. John could feel the tension in Bobby's body and shifted forward. He ran his tongue over Bobby's lower lip before pressing a last kiss to his lips and backing away.

He heard Bobby's quiet exhale. John didn't say anything as he moved back and lay down on his back, staring at the stars.

"For your own good, Bobby boy."

_And for yours._

Shut up.

* * *

A/N: I wanted to post something and this kind of reflects my mood... It's a little happier than my mood but all the same. Please review.


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